"I haven't posted, I haven't kept up with it, I've neglected my own website, what a failure."
That's been the inner chatter I've been trying to confront every time I think about working on my own website; whether that's adding more posts to my blog, expanding the site to capture everything I'm doing, or even just updating the damn date in the footer. I've felt like I've neglected my own site and in a way, myself too.
I put these artificial barriers around what it is I want to post on this site or what I want to talk about. Keep it professional? Am I looking for work or am I looking for a way to document my journey and projects that I'm interested in? What's the purpose of people even visiting my website?
I haven't answered those questions so instead of figuring it out, I've just been avoiding my website altogether. Then I think, "well I should adopt a POSSE strategy for how I handle my posts/content", but what am I even talking about that's worth sharing elsewhere?
Avoidance, that's all I've been doing. Instead of just starting to post and having it evolve over time, I've been stuck in analysis paralysis and doing nothing instead. My last post was me trying to hold myself accountable to try and post more, and nothing materialized from that; maybe because I didn't fully believe in what I was writing or what I was writing for.
Now I'm at a point where I'm fed up of doing nothing and I just need to start. I hesitated writing this but after I got started, it felt right to document this complete block. Before it felt like an act I needed to uphold, like obviously you need a website to direct people to, but it doesn't reflect me (at least what I've been publishing to it). I'm not sure where this is going to lead me, but I know that documenting nothing and saying nothing is a good way to be forgotten.
This is my website, the only guardrails that were put up, were done so by me and I need to get over my own internal cringe already.
